last night was possibly the worst night i've had in a long time, and you were the only thing that got me through it.

thank you for still loving me, after all i've put you through.

i need you so much more than you could ever need me. thank you for understanding.

"so were speeding towards that time of year
to the day that marks that you're not here.
and i think i'll want to be alone,
so please understand if I dont answer the phone.
i'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls,
until i can see nothing at all.
only particles some fast some slow.
all my eyes can see is all i know."

it's almost been a year.
and it never got easier, and it never got better.
and i never miss you any less, and i never want to see you less than the day i did when i found out i lost you.
and i never stopped thinking about you.
and i never stopped hearing your voice and your laugh.
and i never stopped wishing i could say sorry. i never stopped wishing you would come back.

you could've kept my book forever and ever.
i would've sat with jason for my whole entire life, if you would've just stayed.
because it'll never get any easier knowing i'll never see you again.

i don't really like you anymore. i forget why i thought you were so great, cause now i can see that there's nothing special about you.

and i just don't want to be around you.

i don't care if we hang out.
i don't care if we talk on AIM for hours or if you call me.
i don't care who you hang out with or what you do after school.
it doesn't matter. and i'm tired of you.

you changed a lot.

i'm glad you can stand up for yourself but now you're just a bitch. congratulations. :]

at least i'm nice to my "best friends." you took it too far, and i don't care if you hang out alone every single day.

you know where to find me.

but i kind of wish you didnt.

happy valentines day.
but i don't see the point.

it's just another day to feel even more alone than usual.

"people change, everyday.
i got all the time in the world.
people cry, all the time, cry like me.
we got all the time in the world."

everytime the fucking phone rings.

it's been what, 4 days? 5 days? i should've given up by now i guess.

i don't really want it to come, but i hate waiting for it.